Funny Birthday Gifts for Men Who Say They Want Nothing
Part of funny gifts guide
Funny birthday gifts for men have two problems: the man says he wants nothing, and he means it for roughly forty minutes. This guide is for the men who will say "you shouldn't have" and wear it Saturday. Sarcastic, dark-humor mugs, tees, hats, hoodies, sweatshirts and long sleeves, arranged by what the birthday man is quietly struggling with, and each joke explained so the gift can be vetted before the wrapping.
For the man who keeps his hobby and his hairline
Start at the main funny birthday gifts for men shelf. These two are near the top of it.
"I miss the green more than I miss you" hat
"I miss the green more than I miss you" ranks the ex second to a patch of mown grass, and the ex is in the room. For the golfer who plays through winter by watching other people play. An embroidered trucker hat with an adjustable snapback, in Navy or Red.
"Lost hair, reward if found" t-shirt
"Lost hair, reward if found" is a lost-pet poster pinned to a receding hairline, with a bounty nobody can collect. The birthday is the day the loss gets counted. For the man who checks the bathroom mirror from three angles, in Heather True Royal or Black.
For the man who is tired and calling it a day
Some men turn a year older and ask for the day off. These are for them.
"Don't judge, it's my day off" mug
"Don't judge, it's my day off" works as an excuse with a date on it, and a birthday is the one day it works on everybody. A black glossy 11 oz mug for the man who turns another year older and treats coffee as the main event, then asks for seconds.
"Going through a midlife crisis" sweatshirt
"Going through a midlife crisis" makes the announcement before the convertible arrives. It lets a man at forty or fifty say the quiet part first and gives the family a way to laugh. A fleece-lined sweatshirt in Charcoal Heather or Team Royal.
For the man with a trust fund, or a cousin who has one
Money jokes are the second favorite birthday theme for men, after hair.
"Trust fund trauma" hoodie
"Trust fund trauma" gives the problems of the very comfortable a diagnosis. The man suffering has a great deal to suffer with, and he says so. A hoodie for the friend whose worst crisis of the year was a delayed jet, in Navy Blazer or Forest Green.
"My yacht sank" t-shirt
"My yacht sank" is a disaster report delivered in the voice of a man who has a marina membership and a mild sense of grievance. The loss is enormous and the complaint is calm. A tee in Silver or Brown, for the birthday man whose luxury is a lake day.
"I invested in crypto, and all I got was this T-shirt" mug
"I invested in crypto, and all I got was this T-shirt" reads like a gift-shop slogan for a portfolio: the trip cost a fortune and the keepsake holds coffee. For the man who explains markets with a straight face while his coffee cools.
For the morning after
"Last night survivor" long sleeve
"Last night survivor" is a reality show for one man and a hangover. The birthday dinner was the challenge, and he is still standing on the immunity of a long sleeve. In Sand Dune or Navy, for the man who insists he is fine.
Funny birthday gifts for men by age and relationship
The round numbers have their own pages: 30th birthday gifts for men, 40th, 50th, 60th and 70th. For the person rather than the number, try birthday gifts for him, for dad, for husband, for boyfriend and for brother. Not sure it is the right gender? The women's birthday guide has the same funny, with different targets.
Buy the line he would never admit he agrees with. That is the one he keeps.
Shop funny birthday gifts for men
Funny birthday gifts for men: questions
What is a good funny birthday gift for a man?
A line about the thing he complains about, on something he will wear or drink from daily. A hair joke on a tee, a golf joke on a hat or a day-off joke on a mug all work, because the target is him.
What is a funny birthday gift for a man who has everything?
A joke about having everything. "Trust fund trauma" and "My yacht sank" give the comfortable man a problem he does not have, on a hoodie or tee that he can wear to his own party.
What is a good funny 40th or 50th birthday gift for a man?
A midlife joke, since the age gives permission. "Going through a midlife crisis" on a sweatshirt says it before he does, and the 40th and 50th birthday pages have more lines in the same register.
What funny birthday gift can I give my dad or husband?
A mug for the desk or a hat for the weekend, with a line that fits the job. The dad and husband pages share the best lines, so the same saying works for both and can be bought twice in different styles.
How long does delivery take for a birthday gift?
Delivery takes 6 to 10 business days after ordering, to US addresses only. Order two weeks ahead for a fixed date, and a return request is open for 21 days after delivery if the size is wrong.
